Star Light, Star Bright - for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mirageofmae
Sep. 30th, 2005 04:01 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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swficathonTitle: Star Light, Star Bright
Author: Lin (hylomorph [at] gmail [dot] com)
Rating: G
Spoilers: 'The Intruder'.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue me.
Author's Note: Formirageofmae, who wanted a missing scene from earth, constellations, and coping. Thanks to mandysbitch for the beta, and to anr for putting this whole thing together. She's Ficathon-crazy!
*****
Elizabeth keeps her back to Simon as she snuffs out the candle. She takes a deep breath and turns around to face him.
"I'd better go back to the base then." Her voice is calm, composed. She'll be damned if she'll cry in front of him now. Later, almost definitely, but not here and now in his cosy kitchen with its warm memories. "I'll just get my stuff." Her heart constricts a little when he doesn't stop her.
The belongings she can't bear to leave behind fit into one box and an overnight bag: a couple of shirts and a pair of boots, a framed photograph of herself rolling in the grass with Sedge (she supposes that really belongs to Simon, but she'll be back on the Daedalus before he realises it's gone), her battered copy of The English Patient, and a couple of Anne Tyler novels. Odds and ends of her life that had insinuated themselves into Simon's.
By the time she comes downstairs the kitchen is dark, and Simon is gone. She leaves by the back door, locks it, and puts her keys in the mailbox.
Halfway to the base her tears start, and by the time she pulls into the car park her mascara is smudged down her face. She cleans herself up with an old McDonalds napkin and takes deep breaths until she looks more like her normal self.
*****
The commissary is almost empty at midnight, when Elizabeth realises she hasn't eaten dinner. Almost isn't quite empty enough for her though. She studiously avoids looking towards the tables as she grabs a sandwich, a coffee, and a large slice of lemon cake with every intention of taking them straight back to her quarters and eating in bed with a book.
She's almost at the door when she hears her name and turns automatically. "Elizabeth, would you like to join us?" Six people in the entire commissary. Three of them had to be Carson Beckett, Rodney McKay, and dammit, John Sheppard, didn't they?
"I was just going to..." She looks longingly at the door and sighs, and then forces a smile onto her face as she walks over to their table in the corner. "Nothing that can't wait. I'm surprised you're all on base. Rodney, you have an apartment here, don't you?"
"We're interviewing knuckleheads for junior science positions tomorrow. The closer to base I stay, the longer I get to sleep in the morning."
"Well, you don't get much closer than this." Elizabeth can hear how fake her cheer sounds, and from the expression on John's face she's not the only one. She opens her mouth to try again, but Rodney beats her to it.
"Anyway, Elizabeth, what are you doing here? I thought your big 'talk the boyfriend into moving to another galaxy' dinner was tonight." Rodney says.
For a moment she can't speak. She can't close her mouth but she can't make words come out of it either, and she's fully aware how shell-shocked she must look. She takes a sip of her coffee, hopes they don't notice her hands shaking.
"It was, but you know, the meetings in the morning, and Simon's on call tonight so his bleeper could go at any time, but he loved the meal, so it went great." She remembers the lasagne that's probably still in Simon's oven. Probably ruined.
Her staff respond to her ramble but Elizabeth doesn't listen to a word they are saying. She puts her uneaten sandwich back in its wrapper and begins to break her lemon cake into tiny pieces with her fork. If they realise she's not paying attention, they don't mention it. They move on to talk of Carson's nephews, John's motorcycle, Rodney's cat. From time to time she smiles at a funny story, and says 'yes' and 'no' in the right places. She doesn't think they have noticed that she's a million light years away.
***
Elizabeth is back in her quarters less than ten minutes before there's a knock on her door. She's not surprised to see John Sheppard on the other side.
"Hey, Elizabeth." He says, smiling.
"John?" She doesn't say 'what on Earth are you doing at my door at almost 1am?' but she gets the message across.
"I thought we might go for a walk." He says, stepping inside her quarters. He picks up her jacket and hands it to her.
"It's a little late at night for wandering around, don't you think, John?" Elizabeth protests, but doesn't move away when he rests his hand on the small of her back. Doesn't stop walking in the direction he propels her.
"Ssh." He says. "Come for a walk with me."
*****
There is a sharp chill in the air as they step out of the mountain, and Elizabeth pulls her jacket tightly around her. The SFs at the exit look at them strangely as John leads her across the car park to the grassy area beyond. His hand still rests firmly on her lower back.
When they're out of sight of the SFs John stops walking and turns to Elizabeth. "Do you want to talk about it?" His directness surprises her.
"Not really." She shrugs with practiced indifference. "It's not a big deal."
"Okay." John says. He begins walking again, and Elizabeth moves a little faster to catch up. For several minutes they wander along the edge of the tree line in silence.
"He's not coming with us." Elizabeth says eventually.
"Simon?" John asks, and she nods. "He's crazy. Doesn't know what he's giving up."
"I tried to tell him that. Tried to explain how amazing Atlantis is..."
"I wasn't talking about Atlantis, Elizabeth." His reach to touch her cheek coincides with her turning to face him, and his fingers brush lightly against her lips. "And you know it."
Elizabeth smiles and John's hand falls to his side. "I do know it." She says, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "But it's safer to pretend that I don't."
The silence lasts longer this time as they stand side by side and study the stars, each lost in their own thoughts. A cloud moves across the moon, darkening the landscape, and Elizabeth shivers. John slips out of his fatigues jacket and slips it around her shoulders without a word.
"Thanks," she whispers, turning to smile at him before returning her gaze to the stars. "I know we can't see the Pegasus Galaxy from here, but I can never stop myself from looking for Atlantis in the stars, can you?"
"Oh, I have a different problem." John points to the sky. "Orion. And over there, Ursa Major. It's really great to see familiar stars, but I still can't stop looking for the constellations we can see from the balcony back ho-" A pause. "On Atlantis."
If Elizabeth catches his slip, she doesn't give any sign. "It's a little crazy how attached we've become to that city in such a short time."
"It's probably pretty normal, actually." John says. "We thought we were never coming back to Earth. So we-"
"Made a home." Elizabeth interupts, before shivering again and slipping her hands up under the cuffs of John's jacket.
"Yeah." John reaches out to slip his arm gently around her and rubs her shoulders for warmth. "Let's head back."
Elizabeth nods her agreement. She remembers that she still hasn't eaten. "Perhaps we could swing past the commissary on our way?"
"Sure." John gives her shoulders a brief squeeze and drops his arm before they come back into view of the SFs on the entrance. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." She replies, and if it's not exactly true at that moment, she knows it will be soon.
Finis.
Author: Lin (hylomorph [at] gmail [dot] com)
Rating: G
Spoilers: 'The Intruder'.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue me.
Author's Note: For
mirageofmae, who wanted a missing scene from earth, constellations, and coping. Thanks to mandysbitch for the beta, and to anr for putting this whole thing together. She's Ficathon-crazy!*****
Elizabeth keeps her back to Simon as she snuffs out the candle. She takes a deep breath and turns around to face him.
"I'd better go back to the base then." Her voice is calm, composed. She'll be damned if she'll cry in front of him now. Later, almost definitely, but not here and now in his cosy kitchen with its warm memories. "I'll just get my stuff." Her heart constricts a little when he doesn't stop her.
The belongings she can't bear to leave behind fit into one box and an overnight bag: a couple of shirts and a pair of boots, a framed photograph of herself rolling in the grass with Sedge (she supposes that really belongs to Simon, but she'll be back on the Daedalus before he realises it's gone), her battered copy of The English Patient, and a couple of Anne Tyler novels. Odds and ends of her life that had insinuated themselves into Simon's.
By the time she comes downstairs the kitchen is dark, and Simon is gone. She leaves by the back door, locks it, and puts her keys in the mailbox.
Halfway to the base her tears start, and by the time she pulls into the car park her mascara is smudged down her face. She cleans herself up with an old McDonalds napkin and takes deep breaths until she looks more like her normal self.
*****
The commissary is almost empty at midnight, when Elizabeth realises she hasn't eaten dinner. Almost isn't quite empty enough for her though. She studiously avoids looking towards the tables as she grabs a sandwich, a coffee, and a large slice of lemon cake with every intention of taking them straight back to her quarters and eating in bed with a book.
She's almost at the door when she hears her name and turns automatically. "Elizabeth, would you like to join us?" Six people in the entire commissary. Three of them had to be Carson Beckett, Rodney McKay, and dammit, John Sheppard, didn't they?
"I was just going to..." She looks longingly at the door and sighs, and then forces a smile onto her face as she walks over to their table in the corner. "Nothing that can't wait. I'm surprised you're all on base. Rodney, you have an apartment here, don't you?"
"We're interviewing knuckleheads for junior science positions tomorrow. The closer to base I stay, the longer I get to sleep in the morning."
"Well, you don't get much closer than this." Elizabeth can hear how fake her cheer sounds, and from the expression on John's face she's not the only one. She opens her mouth to try again, but Rodney beats her to it.
"Anyway, Elizabeth, what are you doing here? I thought your big 'talk the boyfriend into moving to another galaxy' dinner was tonight." Rodney says.
For a moment she can't speak. She can't close her mouth but she can't make words come out of it either, and she's fully aware how shell-shocked she must look. She takes a sip of her coffee, hopes they don't notice her hands shaking.
"It was, but you know, the meetings in the morning, and Simon's on call tonight so his bleeper could go at any time, but he loved the meal, so it went great." She remembers the lasagne that's probably still in Simon's oven. Probably ruined.
Her staff respond to her ramble but Elizabeth doesn't listen to a word they are saying. She puts her uneaten sandwich back in its wrapper and begins to break her lemon cake into tiny pieces with her fork. If they realise she's not paying attention, they don't mention it. They move on to talk of Carson's nephews, John's motorcycle, Rodney's cat. From time to time she smiles at a funny story, and says 'yes' and 'no' in the right places. She doesn't think they have noticed that she's a million light years away.
***
Elizabeth is back in her quarters less than ten minutes before there's a knock on her door. She's not surprised to see John Sheppard on the other side.
"Hey, Elizabeth." He says, smiling.
"John?" She doesn't say 'what on Earth are you doing at my door at almost 1am?' but she gets the message across.
"I thought we might go for a walk." He says, stepping inside her quarters. He picks up her jacket and hands it to her.
"It's a little late at night for wandering around, don't you think, John?" Elizabeth protests, but doesn't move away when he rests his hand on the small of her back. Doesn't stop walking in the direction he propels her.
"Ssh." He says. "Come for a walk with me."
*****
There is a sharp chill in the air as they step out of the mountain, and Elizabeth pulls her jacket tightly around her. The SFs at the exit look at them strangely as John leads her across the car park to the grassy area beyond. His hand still rests firmly on her lower back.
When they're out of sight of the SFs John stops walking and turns to Elizabeth. "Do you want to talk about it?" His directness surprises her.
"Not really." She shrugs with practiced indifference. "It's not a big deal."
"Okay." John says. He begins walking again, and Elizabeth moves a little faster to catch up. For several minutes they wander along the edge of the tree line in silence.
"He's not coming with us." Elizabeth says eventually.
"Simon?" John asks, and she nods. "He's crazy. Doesn't know what he's giving up."
"I tried to tell him that. Tried to explain how amazing Atlantis is..."
"I wasn't talking about Atlantis, Elizabeth." His reach to touch her cheek coincides with her turning to face him, and his fingers brush lightly against her lips. "And you know it."
Elizabeth smiles and John's hand falls to his side. "I do know it." She says, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "But it's safer to pretend that I don't."
The silence lasts longer this time as they stand side by side and study the stars, each lost in their own thoughts. A cloud moves across the moon, darkening the landscape, and Elizabeth shivers. John slips out of his fatigues jacket and slips it around her shoulders without a word.
"Thanks," she whispers, turning to smile at him before returning her gaze to the stars. "I know we can't see the Pegasus Galaxy from here, but I can never stop myself from looking for Atlantis in the stars, can you?"
"Oh, I have a different problem." John points to the sky. "Orion. And over there, Ursa Major. It's really great to see familiar stars, but I still can't stop looking for the constellations we can see from the balcony back ho-" A pause. "On Atlantis."
If Elizabeth catches his slip, she doesn't give any sign. "It's a little crazy how attached we've become to that city in such a short time."
"It's probably pretty normal, actually." John says. "We thought we were never coming back to Earth. So we-"
"Made a home." Elizabeth interupts, before shivering again and slipping her hands up under the cuffs of John's jacket.
"Yeah." John reaches out to slip his arm gently around her and rubs her shoulders for warmth. "Let's head back."
Elizabeth nods her agreement. She remembers that she still hasn't eaten. "Perhaps we could swing past the commissary on our way?"
"Sure." John gives her shoulders a brief squeeze and drops his arm before they come back into view of the SFs on the entrance. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." She replies, and if it's not exactly true at that moment, she knows it will be soon.
Finis.
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Date: 2005-10-01 02:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:19 pm (UTC)